Happy sweet 16, Insomniac!

16 years ago I purchased my first Green day album...Insomniac. At the age of 15, it began my love affair with a band that would later change my life completely and forever.

Dum Dum Girls - Yours Alone

Dum Dum Girls - Jail La La

(HD) Dum Dum Girls | Bhang Bhang, I'm a Burnout (Video)

Judgement Day

I have been thinking much lately about my day to day interactions with the general public and individuals. More specifically, how I internalize my experiences with individuals and how I perceive each individual and myself interacting with them.
I am very sensitive to "picking up" on human and animal energies. Interacting with or being in close proximity of another, I can with some individuals feel their energy be it negative or positive or indifferent, and it can affect me accordingly. It can be at times a most unpleasant experience, completely unbeknown to the person or persons I am receiving the feeling from. I am in the process of learning how to protect myself from what I describe as the "invading energy". It is proving to be a very interesting learning experience to which I may elaborate on at a later date.
My concern today is in deciphering if what I am feeling in these moments is just that, a feeling, or if it is just good old judgement. If there is judgement involved (which I feel there almost always is or that it must be) does it come first or after the initial barrage of energies and the accompanying feelings? Depending on the situation I think probably both or, either or. Before I had the realization that I am sensitive to energies, I thought that I was just a very judgemental person, (and I wanted to change that) but now I am questioning that.
But we all make judgements at one time or another. We all have judged and we all will judge. We will be judged. We judge ourselves. We are our own worst enemy (ego) and our own best savior (true self). When the ego or "unconsciousness" goes unchecked or there is no awareness of it, it will run amok and it can and will manipulate you. It is the proverbial "man behind the curtain". But once you expose the "man behind the curtain" you are finally your true self and it is then that you are not judging, you just are, and others just are. There is no more competition between egos. There is no need or desire to judge and if another judges you it has no bearing.
When I have judged others, I think that most of the time I am judging their decisions or choices, but then ones decisions and choices are a direct reflection of one...or is it? There is a saying: when you make a judgement, you do not define others, you define yourself.
Although I know that sometime ago I became consciously aware, that is I became aware of my ego (the constant commentary..our mind = ego) and that it is not my true self, I still struggle with the ego because it feels threatened and I am still learing how to be "in the now" at all moments. I know that with time it will come freely, but for the time being I struggle with it.
For those of you who would like to know more about the ego and becoming consciously aware, I recommend The power of Now and A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. These books have helped changed my life and I highly recommend them.  Also Conscious Living Radio.

I have been trying to write something for days. Writer's block? I am not sure. I do know that I am inspired to write an entry but I have too many things that I want to write about and it all wants to come out at once but my mind is jammed. More like a bout of writers constipation I would say. It's all there, it wants to come out, but it can't. Is there some kind of ex-lax for the mind that I can take for this? Perhaps.  I will return to releive myself once I have aligned the jumble of frustrations, passions, outrages and theories that clog my cobweb of a mind...

Happy Birthday Johnny

Folsom Prison Blues

I hear the train a comin'

It's rollin' 'round the bend

And I ain't seen the sunshine

Since I don't know when

I'm stuck in Folsom Prison

And time keeps draggin' on

But that train keeps a-rollin'

On down to San Antone

When I was just a baby

My Mama told me, "Son

Always be a good boy

Don't ever play with guns"

But I shot a man in Reno

Just to watch him die

When I hear that whistle blowin'

I hang my head and cry

I bet there's rich folks eatin'

In a fancy dining car

They're probably drinkin' coffee

And smokin' big cigars

But I know I had it comin'

I know I can't be free

But those people keep a-movin'

And that's what tortures me

Well, if they freed me from this prison

If that railroad train was mine

I bet I'd move it on a little

Farther down the line

Far from Folsom Prison

Thats where I want to stay

And I'd let that lonesome whistle

Blow my blues away 

Johnny Cash

February 26, 1932 - September 12, 2003